Thinness and relation to innocence, youthfulness and purity.

The subject of younger females being victim of sexual harrassment came up some days ago. I can’t deny that I saw these things happen when I was younger. I had witnessed older men always sending  their phone to get girls numbers. They would do cat calls, hissing calls, stopping their cars, asking them what their age was, and even after they told them they were only 8(yes 8)-14, it seemed like they wanted to talk to them even more.

It was disturbing, but the guys didn’t care, they saw youthful women they found sexually appealing, and the thing is a lot of them didn’t even have to be “developed” for their age. They were petite frame young girls who some of these men went for. And of course you had the over developed girls for their age, lets not act like that didn’t exist for a while. But that’s another topic for another time, on another blog, some time another.

It’s the idea that men attach petite, small, thin, and dainty as feminine traits to the female gender so intentively. It’s a scary and very damaging thing to do. That’s why I sometimes have to judge a little, and I almost never judge without good reason and it’s never hardly about human individuality and difference either, but I have to judge men who solely go after women who are very young looking. Now I understand preference, and preference is a awesome thing. We as existing human beings have the right to prefer whatever physical characteristics we choose to in the same or opposite sex, as long as we don’t belittle people to justify our preferences.

But the thought that men, especially these days find attraction to barely legal teenagers and seeing guys write things like “How old is she, she looks about 18, she’s a sexy, she’s so hot with her little young bod” I’ve seen these things said by all men. Men view thin bodies as youthful, innocent, and vunerable. That’s why thinner women are viewed as “Trophy” wives/girlfriends no matter their background or image, if they’re thin, they’re in.

Say someone like Rihanna or Madonna. Both thin women with similar careers. Their images aren’t squeaky clean but somehow they’ve never been threatening to society as women. People almost viewed their sexualized bad girl images as harmless and cute, because let’s face it, they look like they wouldn’t harm a fly. They can walk around in revealing clothes, act very sexual on stage and men go nuts over them, I never see men say “Gross she looks nasty, that’s not the type of women you’d wife or marry”. Most men believe these women are wife material and are close to perfect. Thinner women are viewed as pure, innocent and hard to taint.

Now imagine a curvier woman with the same image and little more butt and boobs. She’s been seen as every kind of derogatory name in the book based on her image alone. People will say she needs to stop acting slutty, she needs to put some clothes on, she looks nasty and stank, I mean every little demeaning thing you can call a woman she would be called for carrying the same image a Madonna or Rihanna does.

I tell people body size and shapes plays a huge part in how women are percieved. Like I said thinner/petite women are viewed as innocent, harmless, cute, pure. Curvier girls are viewed as slutty, impure, tainted, and a bad. We associate thin women with class, wealth, elegance and success, even if they are just another girl from up the street.

Curvier women are seen as something good enough to bed but not good enough to wed. It’s amazing how body types can create all of these ignorant stereotypes and unfair judgments.

Look at the obsession in the media when a celeb is pictured then her age is plastered on the side with headlines reading “40 years old never looked this good” or comments under the picture like “Wow she’s 40, omg I thought she was younger than that, she looks great”. Men can gain weight and sprout a head full of grey and we’d just chalk it up to them getting wiser and older. Women also prefer older more sophisticated men, that comes from somewhere, the same place that created thinner= younger, innocent and pure.

The thinner a man is the more a woman is turned off comparing him to a young boy or a guy who doesn’t represent the symbolization of manhood. The thinner a woman is, the more she’s lauded for doing her best to stay young looking, innocent and pure because we likened these things as a symbolization of womanhood and femininity.

It’s very damaging to women, eating disorders have not disappeared and it seems like we don’t care because we’re so focused on making sure women remain thin and visually appealing. It’s disturbing seeing men lust over barely 18 year olds, teenagers, young girls and young looking women. The sooner we stop attaching thinness to womanhood the less instances we’ll see of sexual harrassment from grown men forced upon younger females.



If you ask me, the problem with glorifying obesity is that we need to do more of it.


mazing poster by Haley of Redefining Body Image.

Two weeks ago, 18-year-old NYU student Stella Boonshoft posted a picture of her underwear-clad size 12 body on Tumblr, along with a brief manifesto of sorts.

This picture is for the strange man at my nanny’s church who told me my belly was too big when I was five.

This picture is for my horseback riding trainer telling me I was too fat when I was nine.

This picture is for the girl from summer camp who told me I’d be really pretty if I just lost a few pounds

This picture is for all the fucking stupid advertising agents who are selling us cream to get rid of our stretch marks, a perfectly normal thing most people have (I got mine during puberty).

This picture is for the boy at the party who told me I looked like a beached whale.

The image has since “gone viral,” as the kids say, with Boonshoft eventaking a turn on The Today Show to discuss the reaction, which has been overwhelmingly positive.

This follows on the heels of a Wisconsin news anchor’s rebuttal earlier this month to the man who wrote to her explaining that her non-thin body simply being visible on television was sending a dangerous message to the nation’s youth. People rallied behind Jennifer Livingston, too, in a rare show of support for awesome public fattery.

Around these parts, we’re familiar with this happy reaction inspired by a diversity of allegedly imperfect bodies — check out our reader-submitted gallery of real people’s bellies from last year — and even by specifically fatones, as in Gabi of Gabifresh’s amazing “fatkini” gallery of this summer.

Seeing bodies that look like our own showcased in media like this gives us all a charge of recognition, but it’s also oddly validating — or maybe it’s not odd in the least, considering we derive so many of our values from the media we consume, and seeing ourselves deemed worthy of attention by the same media is a pretty awesome ego boost. 

The positive response to these examples definitely bodes well for a culture that may be changing to accommodate and appreciate that bodies come in all varieties, and I’d like to just herald it as a triumph and call it done. But the fact is this praise is also happening in context with opinions like this one, published in an op-ed earlier this month, in which the author advocates for MORE shaming of fat people, not less:

We have coddled ourselves so much that we have shamed using shame. As a result, people have become clueless to their appearance. Sure, what’s under the skin matters, and no one should feel that obese people are bad, but what’s on the outside counts, too. Or at least it should. But go to any beach, and count how many linebacker-sized women are showcasing themselves in bikinis. Ditto for men whose guts reach the next block. Since they all have mirrors, one can only assume that shame is simply not a part of their lives.

Sure, what’s under the skin matters, but not as much as having the self-consciousness to not gross out the other people on the beach with you.

And although the positive support of both Stella Boonshoft and Jennifer Livingston has been vocal, there has also been criticism. Sure, some of it is the standard schoolyard, “EW GROSS!” taunts, if that can rightly be considered “criticism” — but much of it foregoes the obvious put-some-clothes-on approach in favor of claiming a certain level of intellectual merit and care for these poor fat people.

You know, the concern trolls.

The concern trolls are the people who pop in to these conversations to assert that they have no problem with how a fat person LOOKS, but that they are just worried about their health (none of your business) or their mental state (also none of your business) or the effects of their heaving out-of-control bulk on the cost of health insurance or gas prices or a gallon of milk or the price of beans. They are CONSUMED with worry. It’s all they seem to think about.




Sorry, best I could do on short notice with a webcam. GLORIOUS!

The concern trolls are the individuals who say it might be fine to have a tiny bit of self-esteem there, fatty, but in so doing you might be GLORIFYING OBESITY — a charge I’ve personally been hearing for years upon years upon years. And since, culturally speaking, obese bodies are not simply occupied by their owners but are occupied by everyone who can see them, the concern trolls feel entitled to have a say in directing how those fat people think about their bodies, and how they choose to present their bodies in public.

This is not an effect exclusive to fat bodies — women, for example, are subject to the same occupation, in which even strangers can feel entitled to offer commentary or advice on their state of their body, fat or thin or whatever — but it is one that is particularly applied to fat folks because current trends dictate that fat people are a Problem. A Problem that needs to Solved.

Thus, glorifying obesity is depicted as a dangerous virus, implying that if fatness is allowed to spread unchecked, our culture and civilization are at risk of cataclysmic destruction. Possibly in a hail of donuts.

The thing is, this is actually kind of true.

If obesity continues to be “glorified” in the manner described — by allowing fat people to be on television, to share pictures of themselves feeling good about their bodies, to wear bikinis, to enjoy food, and so forth — the social fabric of our current body culture in the United States would be severely threatened. 

Some of the dangers of glorifying obesity may include:

  • Young girls might not fear getting fat more than they fear nuclear war, losing their parents, or cancer.
  • Fat people might no longer be at an increased risk of having their illnesses (including cancers) misdiagnosed or diagnosed late, by doctors working in a medical community in which disdain for fat bodies is rampant, or given the wrong dosages of medicine — both of which can cost millions in unnecessary tests and prolonged treatment.
  • Eating disorders — which admittedly are not exclusively about weight but which are cultivated by a culture that identifies fatness as a failure of control — might no longer be a central feature in the lives of 10 million Americans.
  • We might not have a weight loss industry that generated $60 billion in revenue in the United States last year, mostly by making women feel like crap about themselves.
  • Fat people might not have to worry about whether seats on airplanes or in restaurants or basically anywhere they go can physically accommodate them.
  • Dudes might not yell at me in parking lots.
  • Fat people everywhere might develop a powerful self-respect, and demand respect from others, and might be less likely to suffer bullying and shaming in silence.
  • Fat people might not be so handy for scapegoating, schadenfreude and cheap laughs, or as a means by which others can feel superior.
  • People of all sizes might feel better about themselves, because no one would be wasting energy and focus worrying about what would happen to them, how their life would be ruined, if they became fat.

Many of us are willing to back up Stella Boonshoft and Jennifer Livingston because we recognize them as individuals — they’re not an epidemic, they’re not a threat to our national security, they’re not selfish gluttons using up all the healthcare: they’re PEOPLE. 

What shame-centered obesity epidemic rhetoric accomplishes better than anything else, better even than its purported intention to improve public health, is to erase the humanity of fat people. Because all those obese folks clogging the overstated statistics are, in fact, still people. They’re friends and coworkers, moms and dads, children and grandparents. You know some of them. You probably like them. You probably don’t think of them as an epidemic, or as posing a clear and present danger to the future of humanity. 

If reminding folks that fat people are people first — that they are individuals and not some monolithic amoeba of disease rolling itself over the planet, and that their bodies are not shameful, not ugly, not embarrassing, not immoral, but as worthy of acceptance as every other body is — if THIS is the same as glorifying obesity, then bring on the glory. I will carry the banner. I won’t be sorry, not for my part in changing our culture around bodies in general and not for my own body that I live in, right now — I won’t be sorry, and I won’t apologize. Neither should you.



Six-year-old who tried to slim with a knife

Six-year-old who tried to slim with a knife

by BILL MOULAND, Daily Mail

Despair: Tanya wanted to look like slim TV presenters

For overweight six-year-old Tanya McHale, despair came when she was told she was too big to bounce on her little sister’s birthday trampoline.

Teased at school, anxious to look like the slim girls she saw on television, the seven stone youngster, who is 3ft 6in tall, rushed into her mother’s kitchen and seized the biggest carving knife she could find.

‘I want to cut the fat off me so I can be slim and go on the trampoline,’ she cried.

‘You can’t imagine what it was like,’ said Tanya’s mother Kerry Cozens, 28, yesterday. ‘I was on the phone and she was standing there in the front room with the knife.

‘She pushed it into her arm and it had made a dent before I managed to stop her.

‘She is only six and when she put the carving knife to her flesh she didn’t understand the implications of what she was doing.

‘She told me she was not trying to hurt herself – she was trying to “fix” herself like the people in plastic surgery documentaries.

‘I became hysterical and we were both sobbing loudly. You can’t imagine what it’s like to hear that from one of your children. I was shaking and utterly terrified.

‘I explained that she would have badly hurt herself but all she thinks about is her weight and how unhappy it makes her.

‘She is surrounded by children’s TV presenters and pop stars who are skinny and says all her friends care about being thin too.

‘Tanya is the most adorable child in the world and has such a beautiful face, but she can only see how discriminated against she is because of her size.’

Experts said yesterday that although self-mutilation was ‘quite commonplace’ among teenagers, it was rare to find anyone so young taking such drastic measures.

But at a time when 15 per cent of adolescents are officially obese and one-third regarded as overweight, they claim that the Health Service is ill- equipped to deal with the problem.

‘We realise that there is very little information about what is the best way to approach the management of obesity in children,’ said Dr Ian Campbell, chairman of the National Obesity Forum.

‘Fat kids have always been around, but it has been a phenomenon only in recent years.

‘There are few specialist paediatric centres – one in Bristol and one in Plymouth. GPs don’t really know what to do about it.’

Mrs Cozens, who lives in Millbrook, Southampton, with Tanya and Shaun, eight, Tiffany, three, and one-year- old Laura, said health visitors and local doctors seemed unable to help.

She said: ‘Tanya has always been overweight. She was 10lb when she was born but unlike her brother and sisters just kept growing.

‘She doesn’t eat much and she prefers broccoli to chips and sweets. She is also far from lazy. She loves dancing and walking.

‘If she was happy I would leave her to grow up naturally and not worry – but she is desperately unhappy and cries herself to sleep.

‘She begged me to help her diet but I already make sure she eats healthily.

‘The worst thing for me is how preoccupied other children are with her weight. Tanya gets teased about her size all the time. These kids may only be six but they all talk about dieting and their weight.

‘Tanya checks the fat content of food at the supermarket because this is what the other girls do.

‘The teasing really hurts her. I go in to see her teachers all the time and they say they are dealing with it. But it never stops.’

Dr Campbell advised Mrs Cozens to seek a family GP sympathetic to Tanya’s problem if she was dissatisfied with her local surgery.

‘She needs a lot of help,’ he said. ‘She is very overweight. This demonstrates how being overweight can lead to difficulties in taking part in normal social pastimes.

‘Children like this are more likely to be bullied and escape physical education and less likely to be involved in group games.’

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But hey the eradication of fat children and fat bodies aren’t anything bad, they just care about our health right? If they did, they address the mental health in larger people as well because of bullying, discrimination, biogtry, and ridicule.

Healthy big people, yes we do exist!!

Healthy big people do exist. I’ve seen us, we’re all over the place. Society and a lot of the people in it know this for a fact but refuse to acknowledge it in fear of putting larger people (especially women) on a pedestal. Lord knows we can’t have a land where us fatties are considered healthy and attractive, that’s just giving too much to us at once **sarcasm** So we are bombarded with “Why aren’t they losing weight then” they know working out is good, any exercise if great for the heart but the idea of them accepting the fact that fat people can be fit in bodies they loathe and hate looking at bothers them.

The woman above is a lovely lady who’s pictures are posted on a size acceptance page on facebook. She has many other pictures of her fitness routine and she talks about staying “Thick and fit”. Now this isn’t uncommon, as a few months ago, a video of a plus size personal trainer was posted on a very popular forum, and people were absolutely disgusted at the idea of a plus size personal trainer. They made all kinds of demeaning comments towards her even accusing her of sneaking food after working out because how dare she still be fat, exercise, and not lose weight. It was terrible.

Most people aren’t even aware of the vigorous workouts and fitness routines plus size women have to adhere to. Tyra mentioned it plenty of times regarding plus size modeling. She said her plus size models are very into fitness to maintain their beautiful plus size bodies and health. Fat bodies are showcased in the most unflattering way to keep people thinking that there’s no other way a fat body can exist other than being depicted as stereotypes and failure. Even doctors and healthcare chime in on these lies and stereotypes for profit, and most of the time flat our discrimination.

Plus model Rosie Mercado

And of course fathletes!

And we’re dancers

I’m annoyed at how people with my body and my life have to constantly explain ourselves because we can’t detach this warped mentality about health, fitness and large bodies. This is the same warped mentality that allows thinner individuals to post pictures of themselves eating junk food, fast food and large portions of food on their social networking page and people think it’s cute, harmless and funny. They don’t believe a thin person’s diet can consist of only that type of food because come on they’re thin for Pete’s sake!!! However, the next day, all they have to do is post a picture of them standing by a treadmill and all is well in the world of health.

A fat person like my self can blog my low fat meals and meatless dishes 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year and as soon as I post of picture of myself eating a cupcake I’m bombarded with health lectures about me possibly dying if I don’t slow down, like really? Doesn’t matter if the cupcake is sugar free and gluten free, it’s a cupcake for Pete’s sake!!!

We really need to stop the misconceptions about health and larger bodies. I’ve seen people on the smaller spectrum of fat, heck not only that, but I’ve seen women barely chubby, no not only that, women who are visually healthy looking beat themselves up mentally about their bodies and weight because they believe that if their quads aren’t popping, and their abs aren’t visible then they’re unhealthy and out of shape. Like why does HAES ( Heath At Every Size) exist then? People are just going to ignore programs like that anyway because they just don’t like looking at fat people.

It really needs to stop I’m sick of it.

Trolling by Dude Bros™: Fat positive backlash in the spotlight

If you weren’t already aware, this past week has been dubbed “Fat Shaming Week” by a small group of men who incorrectly assume that shaming will actually make fat women thin. Leaving aside that these dude bros have created a week to shame fat women as they are in tears over their lack of boners because fat women are fat. It sounds like a personal problem and the notion that fat people are unfuckable is unfounded (social construction anyone?). They spent the beginning of the week harassing every fat activist, news source and blogger they could find as an attempt to have their “campaign” get attention.

I was one of about five people who had been tweeted at on Monday when their “campaign” started and like everyone else ignored them until Buzzfeed thoughtlessly pick it up. While I’m happy that the few major sites who wrote something about the week framed it as being disgusting, almost all of them have centered the tweets they shared around the worst tweets that could be found in the hashtag. In the beginning of the week almost all of the tweets were directed specifically at fat women but quickly devolved into arguments about health, which shows how little fat shamers actually care about health and in reality are interested in promoting an ideal body type that they find to be physically / sexually pleasing.

A few other fat / body positive bloggers have written a response to the week and you can find them herehere and here (tw weight loss talk). I wanted to create a post that specifically outlines the kind of responses to this week I had as well as other people on twitter. While most news sources have focused on the hateful tweets by the creator and his numerous fake twitter accounts, the outpouring of people objecting to this week has been too big to ignore.

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October is Bullying Prevention Awareness Month. This week has given even more proof that bullying is not something that only happens when someone is a child but continues on throughout their lifetime and is deeply rooted in different forms of marginalization. Read my post, Bullying It’s Not Just for Kids

Fat shaming within atheist/agnostic communities

I frequent a lot of blogs and what I’ve come to discover is that atheist really despise fat people too. Oh no not the atheist who reject any and every traditionally, socially, oppressive structure that supports religious characteristics!! No they hate fat people too. They hate them even more to be honest with you. 

Every atheist I’ve ran into or across rejects the notion of “Thin Privilege” or they don’t believe in the idea of fat shaming. They think it doesn’t exist at all and that fat people are being sensitive and complaining too much. But I don’t know why I’m shocked because they are also sexist as well and still support gender labels and roles which are also oppressive. These are the people we deem as the saviors against the big bad evil Jesus lovers, but every atheist isn’t the same. Many atheist are not full on supporters of discriminated groups of all kinds, just like every one else they have their pick and chooses of what they believe in and what they don’t believe in.

Hatred of fat bodies and fat people is something they believe in, misogyny and patriarchy is something they believe in as well. What happens when you’re a fat atheist? The same thing that happens to every fat person in society, you’re ridiculed and thrown all types of lies and insults about your health and weight. Atheism is many things. It’s eye opening it helps those who are torn between their own journey regarding spirituality, it supports our homosexual brothas and sistas with the reference to science. However THEY ARE NOT SUPPORTERS OF FAT PEOPLE AND SIZE ACCEPTANCE!!! Like I say often on here fat acceptance needs to intersect. All races, all religions, all genders, and everything in between. This movement can’t go anywhere if we constantly keep sectioning it off in groups.

Body Image and the Myth of Perfection

Something has been happening lately and it shocks, stuns and dismays me to say the least. If you are a woman you have probably done this, probably heard friends and family do the same thing.

And as women the place for it to stop is up to each of us Indavidually, the more we stop this the more we stop buying into what advertisers, magazines, society, TV, Radio etc are trying to sell us.

You see this week I witnessed a group of beautiful, stunning women. Who are Strong, who have been through some amazingly rough and difficult times, some you would think were made up they are so tragic. Who carry on in spite of everything with a sense of humor, who are nothing short of AMAZING talk about how much they hate their bodies. It broke my heart.

It made me wonder if there was something wrong with me for not hating myself with the same level of anger and hatred that they did.

You see this was not your usual skinny girls sitting around saying how fat they are, this was a group of amazing BBW’s (Big Beautiful Women) and SSBBW’s (Super Sized Big Beautiful Women)

And then I remembered how hard I have worked on myself. How much I have worked to recover my self esteem and how much I love who I am.

I listened to a health proffessional emotionally blackmail someone in my craft class with the whole “my mother died earlier this year and I am worried about you” speech I was mortified.

Another girl who is simply pin up model gorgeous is being paid $10/kg to loose 40kgs I dont know where she will loose it all from because she was pretty toned and healthy to begin with.

This is not just a fat girl problem because Skinny beautiful women feel that they are fat and ugly as well.

This is a problem because it is starting to happen to Men as well as advertisers and magazines target more “Insecurities” in order to sell more and more products we do not really need.

The view that we all need to be ‘Perfect’ in order to live an amazing life or need to use x x or y product to attain Perfection, Perfection is the illusion.

Cellulite was made up by a womans magazine to move moisturiser, until that happened no one had a name for what we now call cellulite.

Think about that, think about how much money is spent on products we simply do not need.

Think of the industries that would collapse if we all started to do something radical, something unexpected, something that instead of being sheep happily baa ing along we turned and faced the other way.

We took the time to get really comfortable in our own skins


We took the time to work through our fears and insecurities


We took the time to really get to know ourselves


We took the time to change that inner critic, the inner record from one filled with negative shaming thoughts given to us by society, media, family and friends that we have adopted as our own and change them to something more positive sure it takes practice, sure we will still have days where we forget to do this but slowly over time that record will be changed and we will start feeling the joy of how simply beuatiful and wonderous we truly are


We stopped Buying the magazines that promote this type of behaviour


We stopped watching shows that promote the myths


We stopped supporting people who promoted body shaming in any way shape or form


We stopped targeting and shaming others for their body shape


We promoted uplifting and helping each other


We supported each other


We complimented each other


We saw the beauty in everyone around us


Sure it sounds idealistic

Sure it sounds hard


I sometimes think hating yourself, and taking on societies views is far easier than trying to swim upstream and find a way to love and accept all of yourself for the person you are.

It is so much easier to allow yourself to fall into that pit of despair of hate and self destruction.

The true courage lies in working to change that, in knowing yes you may fall down along the way but you can get back up and keep going.

You can do it

I am living proof of that.

I am Big, I am Beautiful, I am Proud of every curve of my Luscious Body, I am Proud of the person I am.

I know that not everyone will get that, I know that some people will look at me and say wtf she is huge.

You know what I am FAT, in truth it is unlikely I will ever be anything but FAT in body shape and I love my curves.

Some people are not made to be skinny just like some are not made to be fat.

Why should my loving my curves and the skin I am in be a threat to anyone?


Instead let it inspire you to learn to love the skin your in, Big, small or inbetween we are all beautiful, amazing wonderful human beings doing the best we can.

Lets not add to lifes burdens by hating on ourselves.

Till next we meet on lifes journey please remember to take care of yourself and take steps to embrace every inch of who you are without appology or remorse


In Love and Light