by western society’s standards, i’ve been deemed ‘obese’ ‘too large’ ‘ugly’
And my concern is not with what society says is acceptable, but rather what I think is acceptable. What I’m not OK with is sizism and the pressure and insecurities that are force-fed into larger people – I just can’t fathom the fact that we’d rather preach/teach insecurities, self-loathe, jealously, fabricated/unrealistic ideas of beauty rather than love in who you are naturally.
We’re taught that being fat is embarrassing, it’s gross, you’re ugly; We go to stores and can’t buy a lot of the clothes.
But i’m just of happy in my body with the current state it is and my mental health contributes a lot to how I see myself.
I don’t like being the physical size I am and I’ve been battling for so long with what to do about it:
1. losing weight and creating a thinner me is going to do such minimal things for me (mental health, so on)
2. I get ‘thin’ who wins? I’m tired of bigger bodies being slammed as ugly and comedic and all chance of beauty is taken from us; I feel like if I was to lose weight then people would automatically they win ‘thinners are grinners’ ‘thin is pretty’ and so on. I would feel like an awful hypocrite, a huge part of my message is fighting to love who you are naturally, love you for you; to rebuke these glassed over ideas of perfection that we’re fed right from birth.
i’m very conflicted and maybe i’m looking into this far too much – maybe it’s simply that if I change, I change it’s completely my business, no one else’s but know that I did this for no ne else’s but know that I did this for no one.