Associating thinness with “Wife material” or “Being the perfect wife or partner”.


Has anyone heard the phrase “Wifey material?” Have any of you ever heard women use the phrase “Hubby material” when looking for a man? No. Because only women are told that our looks or being thin and attractive will get us a husband. How many of us grew up with close friends, associates and family telling us, if we don’t put on a little makeup of try to lose a little weight we won’t be able to attract a man. I’m willing to bet majority of the women on the planet have been told this.

Even Ghandi belittled his wife for gaining weight to the point he didn’t sleep with her anymore and would get other women to lay in bed with him. How disgusting, even for historical figures. Back to the phrase “wifey material”. When I normally see this, never is it actually associated with women who adhere to traditional duties assigned to wives. It’s normally associated with women who look a certain way or fit a superficial image. It also coincides with the phrase” Trophy wife”. “Trophy wife” is basically the same as “Wifey Material” both reference a woman qualified enough to be considered a wife because of her looks. There’s even a television show glamorizing it.

It’s no secret and definitely not a new thing in our culture to associate thin women with being wives and great partner matches. Doesn’t matter what their occupation is or most of the time they don’t have to have one at all, just be pretty and thin enough to be arm candy. Just be pretty and thin enough for your guy to parade you on his arm and point to you as his wife so his reputation can sky rocket.

Studies have shown curvier women are more preferred, larger butts are healthy, big hips are good for conceiving children, but why don’t these studies translate into the real world?

Is our culture blocking these things by feeding the minds of many that thin= Right? I mean I don’t bash and belittle our thinner female counterparts. To be honest with you, we all need to come together and fight against body discrimination, objectification and being divided up into battle groups for the entertainment of men or even other women.

However in this culture sans science, there’s no equal representation of body size and desirability. The thinner the woman, the more classy she’s seen as, the more youthful, innocent, healthy, and worthy of respect. It’s not fair, and I don’t believe in the “Life’s not fair” motto. I think that’s just laziness for not trying to fight against things that discriminate against others. Or it’s a code phrase for privileged groups(cis, white, thin, and hetero men and wome)n who feel, if it ain’t broke don’t fix it.

Larger women aren’t represented as the prize partner for a man, especially a successful man. Thin women are the symbol for success. Larger, or even slightly chubby aka “thick” are a symbol of not making it yet. In communities of color, the thinner and lighter the woman the better. In caucasian communities the thinner and blonde the better. Larger women are viewed as unhealthy, lazy, masculine, and failure. So men, especially men who become successful feel they need to avoid them in order to re-establish or build their career reputation.

Not even the classy, stunning, plus size models are chosen as “Wifey” or “Trophy wives”. We just can’t seem to detach negative stereotypes from fatness and positive stereotypes from thinness. I mean the bigger you are the more people assume the worst about you as a person. The thinner you are, especially as a woman, the more people associate you with innocence and value. There was even a study done about this regarding court and criminals. Thinner prettier women were less likely to be charged as harshly as their larger female counterparts, even if the crime was similar or the same. Sad but true.

It’s unfortunately because I’m sure there are plenty of men who’ve passed up on amazing women who are definitely qualified to be someone’s wife because they were too fat to be seen out with. They’d rather be with thin woman who was a terrible person, and nothing else going for herself but to be thin and pretty. Over a larger woman who’s equally attractive and has all of the qualities of a wife just so he won’t be socially shunned.


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